I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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