my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
