To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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