my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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