We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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