I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i dont even know how to be here
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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