they need to just BURY HIM!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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