Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
