***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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