Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
