FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
