i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
