the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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