Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
only if we run a train.
done.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
