he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
