he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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