I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
