I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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