just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
