Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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