Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
