her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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