this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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