my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
