where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
