i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
