so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
