Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
