We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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