Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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