lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
