C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
