Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
