Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
