this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i think my cat just said my name.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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