i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
