Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize