Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
