its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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