Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
