you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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