it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
