What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
