Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
