So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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