So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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