): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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