I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
