just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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