the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
