She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
