i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
