Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
