sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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