what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
