hotel room ftw
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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