I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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