i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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