I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i think my cat just said my name.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
