We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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