I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
